December 2012
1 post
November 2012
13 posts
Liberal and Conservative →
Conservatives long for the world of Leave it to Beaver, Christmas Story, and Babe Ruth. A world of everyone looking the same, talking the same, eating the same foods, and enjoying the same sports. Everyone loves Jesus, America, Baseball, and tries to work hard so he can be rich and enjoy well-deserved luxury. A core belief of this group is that those who are successful and rich deserve to live...
September 2012
2 posts
Bedlam →
by *MistressCthulhu
Bedlam THE LAST TESTAMENT OF PANDORA BEDLAM My Name is Pandora, Pandora Eleanora Bedlam; my magickal name is Lamia, given to me in my 14th year, by my Father, Luther Bedlam. Luther Bedlam was world-renowned sorcerer, although he is largely forgotten by history, much eclipsed by Aleister Crowley. All who know me; say my mother named me true. Many say I am truly a bringer of...
July 2012
1 post
Borrowed Time →
by *MistressCthulhu
I feel like i am going to die. I have had a never ending migraine since october 10th of 2010, and today and yesterday were the worst days of my life. Not because of anything except pain. I have been doing everything i know how to do to deal with it, and i can honestly say i am drowning in this misery. I desperately want this pain to stop. even for five minutes, just a few...
June 2012
13 posts
Summer Solstice →
by *MistressCthulhuIt’s Summer Solstice, once again, Another turn of the wheel. Longest day, Shortest night, And The Goddess watches over all. Searing heat, Endless greenery, The deepest blue I’ve ever seen, So many sights to see On this Summer Solstice evening. The wheel rolls on, The flowers bloom, The sky darkens overhead, Here I am, Watching night roll in, The shortest night, With...
Beauty rules this heart of mine
I will love you until the end of time.
Skies of blue fill mine eyes
I will need you no matter your guise.
I hate our relationship
All it consists of is pain
The love is dead
The friendship is nonexistent
What we had is over.
Once upon a time you saved me
But now I wish you had not.
At least my ex was consistently shitty
You like to pretend you’re so sweet
But I know you’re just a liar.
I hate this love
1 tag
Angela Rising
In the frigid black depths I hide,
Emptying myself of ignorance and pride,
Living in the deep waters of my mind,
And always stopping to look behind.
My life is evolving,
Shifting, changing, morphing,
I have become strange,
Hoping I will change.
The pain in my mind feels everlasting,
And fills me up even while I am fasting,
I know that soon I must leave,
Let go, rise to the surface, but I...
Beneath the Ice →
by *MistressCthulhu
Today poses a significant challenge. I have my TREM group (Trauma Recovery and Empowerment Model) then i am going to see a friend. I have to completely shift gears from talking about abuse and rape to laughing and joking and trying to chill. I dont know if i can do it. Its not like it’s easy to turn it off and on. I told my therapist the story of my marriage and its...
I have my corner
It is where I rest
I have my corner
It is where Im best
I have my place
It is where I chill
I have my place
it is where I’m still
I have choice
About what I say
I have a choice
About where I stay
I’m becoming someone who matters
Im not becoming someone who flatters
My life is changing
I am aging
And turning greater still
Just watching my life fill...
A cold winds a blowin
Freezing up my mind
A cold winds a blowin
Stealing all my time
May 2012
14 posts
So mad I shaking
Over something so trivial
This needs to be corrected
Until
Until I see you again
Until the world ends
Until we die
Until the end of time
Until we meet again
2 tags
Quiet Dreamer
“Quiet dreamer,
watching the world pass you by,
Why do sit and hide?”
“I Have no reason,”
Said the quiet dreamer,
“I exist to watch life flow,
and I am joyful inside,
Though my facade does not show it.”
1 tag
Mike
He is beautiful. His Proud Roman features resemble Augustus Caesar,
His eyes burn with sky blue intensity,
He walks cat-like, hips swaying, languid feline grace filling his limbs,
His smile is reminiscent of long summer nights, white fire, and cool wine,
When his gaze rests on me, I shudder with passion to think this man desires me.
He is everything I have ever wanted and everything I have...
1 tag
As I Fade
I am always sitting quietly, doing nothing of importance.
I really am one of those people that just sit and watch life pass them by.
I am too scared and too scarred to participate actively in anything besides my own experience.
I feel like no one.
I feel like I am invisibly drifting away.
I am being forgotten.
It’s as if i never even existed in the first place.
I am watching myself fade...
2 tags
Musings
I am just a no one,
Sitting forever alone.
Even though I have a family,
Even though I have a lover,
Even though I dont have ‘responsibilities’ (or so people think),
I am alone in a crowd.
Everyone can can see
How stupid I can be
I always remember,
No one really cares about me.
I might as well not even be here.
My Life is like a dream I will never wake up from.
Watching a documentary on China On Netflix streaming.
Holding my dying rat.
being alone, and enjoying it.
goodnight world.
here i rest.
I cant post my current writing on here. its too dark and personal and painful. I cant let the world know the details of my pain. enough said.
4 tags
Beltane 2012
Beltane rings through the air
Sweeping into my lair,
Where I am busy as a bee
Invigorated by the energy.
All of this morning I created
New things that fascinated.
Grounding and centering before I went
Connecting to Goddess with a statuette.
Giving and taking blessing before I left,
Not realizing I would be a victim of theft.
I spent most of this day
Pouring money away.
For I needed new...
April 2012
23 posts
I Dream of books everywhere →
2 tags
Empathy
As I hold your hand,
You tell me of the painful times,
You tell me of the frightening times,
You tell me of the worst times.
Tell me more, love.
I want to share your pain.
I don’t want you to feel alone.
I will be your witness,
Offering comfort and safety,
And truth and love.
I won’t leave you here alone.
